Its time I should stop persuing.
All these 4 years, there are so much memories, the sweet and the bitter. I need to try hard to forget them, just try. They are all history. Don't keep them anymore. No more.
Thanks guys and my best friend Vanessa, for always giving me advices and put in much effort in persuading me for all the years.
I know it will be hard to get over it, it was never easy. I had thought about it for the past few days. It makes me hate thinking, the moment I think, I will never stop thinking.
I think its time I should let go. My false hopes and my empty dreams. Or I should never start all these.
I want to thank Ming Kwang for always been lending me his listening ear and of course friends like Elson and Farand, thanks guys for always standby me whenever I feel depressed and down. No words can describe how much you all meant to me. I know the following days will be hard for me. What I need now is just a simple life, study hard, I will regain my confidence and not to criticise myself again. For no reasons and well, I know its hard, but I will just have to try no matter how hard it is. Love you all, my friends. I'm pronouncing this blog dead now. Take care all of you. Loves.
Painful Answers.
Today at Sheila's Birthday party, we had so much fun, we had so much to talk. I think this buffet is quite wasted as I didn't eat much today. We were so full!! And sheila got a water dispenser from me, a notebook from Steph and yuanxin, a bag from wen huan, a tissue box from shen yang and er, i don't think i have missed out any. Oh, and soft toy from gary. LOL and found out that, some idiotic girl is harassing Stephanie ! Poor Steph, LOL. but I'm thinking, why do we have such person on earth ? How the girl thinks ? what had influenced her to be like this? I've so much questions inside my mind. If I have a chance, I'll show up in Steph's Junior College and give her a stare @.@ ( Maybe my stare is enough to kill ) xD. Seriously hope that girl will get a life and stop clinging on to Stephanie and make herself more popular in the school. What crap. Upon heaing these from Steph, I recalled someone that somehow have the image as the girl. Just that the girl is more extreme, haha. That someone is, cheerene! yucks! #%#$% . After the dinner, we went to take some photos of us and oh yah, my shoe, its all wet. -.- zzzzzzzz. Notice : Please watch the way you're going and be alert at all times.
After everything, Me, Steph and yuanxin decided to take cab home but we can't find any cab, either they're hired or changing shifts. We walked all the way to a roadside and managed to get a cab. I wanted stephanie to get home 1st because I want to assure her safety, but they still wanted me to get down 1st. Hence, I got down 1st. I should have insisted that Steph get down 1st.
When I walked with you, I wanted to pull your hand and stay close to me. Because I want you to be safe and sound with me around.
When we crossed the road, I wanted to hold your hand. Because I want you to stay away from the busy traffic as far as possible.
When I'm searching for cabs, I kept looking back to ensure that you're still there.
When I'm in the cab, I'm thinking, when will we meet again.
Do you know how worried I am ?
That day, we collected our results. I'm disappointed with mine results.
I saw her cried. Looking at her. I'm in pain.
There's not much I can do, Sorry Steph. I know you had done your best, you have always been setting high expectations for yourself. You have tried. hope you will get over it.
I can only comfort and pray for you, like I've always.
May God give you the direction. Amen.
I woke up, I think of you.
I bathe, I think of you.
I look myself in the mirror, I think of you.
I eat, I think of you.
I work, I think of you.
I walk alone on the streets, I think of you.
I sit in the bus, I think of you.
I saw someone's back, I thought she was you.
I stare blankly at the bustop, I think of you.
I walk the route we had walked and I thought "Where are you now?"
I looked at the time and I thought "Have you eaten your dinner?"
When it is time to turn in to sleep and I thought "Are you asleep?"
When I'm asleep,I was dreaming, I dreamt of you.
I woke up, I think of you.
Today I realised, I live in my own world.
Time flies. Lol. And I had already started to work. My current work is sort of a new experience for me. I still miss those school days. How we had lessons, how defiant we are. xP . and of course, the days,the roads, the time, I walked with you and spent with you. I have not seen you for weeks! Lol. Work actually made me more tired than usual but I still have insomnia sometimes but lesser. ah, and X'mas is coming ! Please, my plans, hope they go really well. God bless!! There's still a long period ahead before we get our 'O'Level results. Sigh. Don't know when i will stop working, after i get my 'O'level results ? before school reopen ? hmmm....
.... and you finally came back.
I just woke up. Its that dream again... Its that dream again. It felt so real, so real that I even cried in my dreams, I cried very hard for her... on the streets, its raining heavily, all the people staring at me.... I really thought it was a dream, but it felt so real, that dream lasted very long instead of seconds. Its so real,so real....
I woke up with tears in my eyes.
Finally, its over. It seems like a dream. Everyday, mugging for exams. Hope my efforts will eventually pay off. Well, I seriously hate holidays, but there's nothing I can do. So I had came up with my plans to occupy my holiday time.
1) Jog 3times in a week. Reason : Run off my fats and look nicer !
2) Build my body. Reason : So that I can protect you, far or near.
3) Learning recipes from Farand's Aunt. Reason : So that I can cook for you in the future.
4) Work! Reason : So that I can save enough money for the future.
5)Play basketball/Skipping. Reason : Because I don't wanna be shorter than you. ;)
Fate brought us here, I'm not going to stop here.